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Thursday, September 18, 2014

#ThursdayThoughts: Chivalry

Yep, you read that right. I'm thinking & talking about chivalry. But before we get into my thoughts, let's define Chivalry.....

The definition I found here, is that men should be truthful, loyal, courteous to others, helpmates to women, supporters of justice, and defenders of the weak. They are also expected to avoid scandal.

This is all fine, good and well, but what about women?

You know, I'm kinda tired of men getting a bad rap. I know, I know, there are all sorts of reasons men have that reputation...years of oppression, chauvinism, abuse and all that, but instead of keeping them ALL pegged as dogs or bums or jerks, we women should look to our own beliefs, behaviors, and expectations to see if and how we contribute to that of the man/men in our lives.

No, I'm not saying that it's all our fault (nor is it Eve's!!!) but what I am saying is that if we buy into the rhetoric that all men are dogs and jerks, then we not only expect them to be that way and to treat us that way, but we are often closed off to the ones who are the complete opposite!

So my challenge to you is this.... Treat the man/men in your life the way you want/expect to be treated.

Want to be respected? Respect him--his thoughts, feelings, dreams, and ideas are important too.

Want to be loved? Love him--his heart is tender too.

Want to be cherished? Cherish him--treat him with kindness and tenderness and he will respond likewise.

Want to be romanced? Romance him--what's your idea of a romantic gesture? Doing that for him will encourage him to be more generous in this area. Know also, that his idea of romance might not match yours exactly but appreciate his efforts and communicate your needs in a gentle way and he will learn!

Want to be encouraged and uplifted? Encourage and uplift him.

It is my honest and humble opinion that most men want to please their lady but ladies, if we have no clue what it takes to please us, how on earth can we expect him to know? 

More importantly, if we're giving him mixed signals, how is he supposed to get it right?

I also believe deep inside, most men have the heart of a gentleman. However, in this day and age where they are labeled as pansies or whatever, and treated as less 'manly' when their tender side is exposed, many are afraid to let that gentleman out of his cage of insecurity and false bravado. 

Of course there are exceptions to every rule and sometimes the best thing you can do for your own health and sanity is to leave a relationship but when you do, leave with kindness and take time to heal your heart, soul and mind before jumping into another.

Want to know more about men, women and relationships? Check out the New Chivalry Movement and follow James M Sama on Facebook and Twitter!

Oh and check out my Pinterest board where I pin NCM's blog posts!

I borrowed this photo from New Chivalry Movement's FB page and would like to ad lib here.... 

Keep Calm and Be a LADY...... In Other Words......don't expect your man to be a gentleman if you're acting like a witch or a brat or a....(fill-in-the-blank)

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! 

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