#SaturdaySpotlight is on Dianna Vagianos Armentrout & Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart

Good Morning from Beautiful San Antonio, TX!

You know me, I'm on the road again LOL! Short, turn-around trip to attend an Abraham-Hicks event. But of course, the spotlight must go on.

Today's guest is brand new to me and brought to us by Virtual Author Book Tours, so please support our guest by leaving a comment and sharing the post, and check out VABT site.

Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart: A Journey of Pregnancy, Grief and Infant Death breaks the lonely, silent suffering of bereaved mothers facing infant and pregnancy loss. Dianna Vagianos Armentrout details her pregnancy journey with her daughter, Mary Rose, who died an hour after birth of trisomy 18, a random genetic illness described as “incompatible with life.”

For five long months of pregnancy, she knew that her baby would not live and thrive, planning a funeral and seeking hospice for her unborn daughter. The heaviness of this grief, which most women bear alone, is shared here and will comfort mothers who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death.

With eloquent language, fierce honesty and a record of the rawness of grief, readers in the midst of their own suffering will recognize the path that bereaved parents walk. Dianna’s experiences with infertility, motherhood, infant loss and miscarriage infuse her writing with compassion for all women.

Through journal entries, essays and poetry, Dianna invites the reader to process grief and honor the life of the child, no matter how brief. In addition, readers will learn how to support the bereaved by remembering the baby and pregnancy.

Finally there is a book to honor the pregnancy, baby and loss, loving the children past their death, loving the wombs that nurtured them and accepting the sacred path of mothering children whose bodies are broken, but whose souls are intact and perfectly whole. This book shines with love and the knowledge that even the briefest life is holy.

Read it. Share it. Spread the word. We no longer have to grieve our infants and pregnancies alone.

Praise for Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart by Dianna Vagianos Armentrout

“This beautifully written story of loss, and redemption, is a must-have for anyone who has faced the devastation of losing a child. Yes, you will cry with Dianna, but you will also admire the beauty of her soul.”- Mary Potter Kenyon, author of ‘Refined By Fire’, ‘Chemo-Therapist’, ‘Mary and Me’, et al

“Pregnancy is often thought of (and typically is) a time filled anticipation and joy.  The deep, dark secret is this: pregnancies are sometimes lost.

Dianna Vagianos Armentrout, author of Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart, shows us the inner workings of that harsh reality. With beauty and rawness, she shows the innermost parts of her heart as she journeyed (and journeys) through the “diagnosis” of a Trisomy 18 baby. She shows us her emails, journals, poems, and the “art” of grieving. She explains that the loss of a child is not the end of loving that child. Nor is the grief something that goes away a few weeks after the funeral.
It is a heartfelt and honest read that I would highly recommend to any woman who has dealt or is dealing with a defect. It would also be beneficial to any woman who is dealing with the loss of a baby. Dianna writes the way her spirit is: open, raw, beautiful. She walks with every mother who has ever lost a child.”- Gloria Miles, Simple Miricles Birth Services

“Dianna Vagianos Armentrout takes the grief and heartache of her journey and creates a space that opens hearts. Dianna has written a seminal book that will resonate with those who know the primal pain of losing a child from stillbirth, miscarriage or newborn death. To moms reeling in deep grief, Dianna offers words and comfort and, in doing so, creates a circle of tear-stained realness, fortitude and big love. Brava! This book poignantly and beautifully sings the heart’s song of infant loss.”- Adele Ryan McDowell, Ph.D., author of ‘Making Peace with Suicide’ and ‘Balancing Act’

“Dianna is an amazing woman and a brilliant writer. This book is useful to anyone who has experienced an infant loss or anyone who supports families experiencing infant loss. The work that she is doing in sharing her story is so important to help give perspective and help move through the natural process of death.”-Mr. Books, Amazon Reviewer

Wow...definitely sounds like a wonderful book that will help people all over the world! Now let's find out a little more about Dianna....

Dianna Vagianos Armentrout is a published writer, teacher, workshop facilitator and poetry therapist. She graduated from Adelphi University’s Honors Program and earned her MAW from Manhattanville College. Dianna’s pregnancy with her daughter, Mary Rose, who died an hour after birth of trisomy 18, changed her life completely. Her blog, Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart, was launched in April 2015 as a way of offering support to others going through pregnancies with difficult and fatal diagnoses.

Dianna wishes to change the cultural fear of death and social awkwardness around the bereaved by educating others to be present and open to the natural process of death. Not knowing what to say is fine. Let’s sit together quietly not knowing what to say about our most difficult and sacred losses, because a loving community is vital to the healing of the bereaved in our broken world. Dianna volunteers with Isaiah’s Promise as a peer minister, and can’t help sending “Healing Companion” cards to mothers facing pregnancy and newborn losses.

Dianna’s poems, short fiction and essays have been published in several journals and anthologies, including The Vermont Literary Review, The Connecticut Review, The Dos Passos Review, Melusine or Women in the 21st century, Sacred Fire Magazine, Sensations Magazine, and Inkwell. She has taught at Southern Connecticut State University, Quinnipiac University and The Graduate Institute, and has facilitated poetry workshops in the tri-state area. As a poet and teacher, she believes that everyone has the inherent gift of poetry. Her workshops create the space for people to be still and access their own words, images and metaphors as they step into their healing.

She lives at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. When she isn’t writing or reading, she spends her time outdoors walking and gardening. Dianna also tinkers with recipes for paleo cookies and shares them with those around her.

Find out more abut Dianna by visiting her Website, connecting with her on Facebook (Book page), Twitter and Instagram.

Hope you enjoyed today's post and that you'll join me each week for Tuesday Treasures, Thursday Thoughts and Saturday Spotlight!

Until next time, take care and God Bless.
PamT

#ThursdayThoughts Guest post / #EggcerptExchange with Linda McLaughlin

Good Morning Friends!

Today is the first of our EggCerpt Exchange features!

Our guest, Linda McLaughlin (aka: @Lyndi Lamont) has shared thoughts and treasures and been in our spotlight before, so please give her a warm welcome back!

Grief is Like an Ocean…

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is

calm & sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." - Vicki Harrison

I love this quote. I can't think of a more apt analogy for grief than an ocean.

Grief begins with a shock akin to an earthquake of epic proportions, followed by a tsunami of emotions: disbelief, denial, anger, guilt, and above all an overwhelming sadness that engulfs your whole being. It takes a while for the tsunami to recede, leaving you feeling adrift in a turbulent ocean.

After a while, the turbulence decreases and there are periods of smooth sailing, but like the ocean, grief is seemingly endless and unpredictable. There will be squalls during which we experience what the professionals call a STUG: a short, temporary upsurge of grief. And sometimes there are storms of emotion. These usually occur at some pivotal moment: a holiday, a birthday, an anniversary, when thoughts of the lost loved one are impossible to deny or keep at bay.

And then the ocean smooths out again and we go back to living moment to moment, waiting for... we know not what. Does grief ever end? Not really, though the storms and squalls diminish over time until the loved one becomes a cherished memory rather than an open wound of the heart.

My heroine in Lily and the Gambler is still mourning the death of her lover when she arrives in California to start a new life.

Wow, Linda, never heard of STUG but I know exactly what you mean! Please tell us a little more about Lily & the Gambler your Sensual Western Historical Romance

Respectability is in the eye of the beholder. Or so Lily Penhallow hopes when she assumes the guise of the widow Albright. She has learned the price of flaunting convention and is determined to obey society's rules from now on. After her lover, Nigel Albright, was killed in a duel over a card game, Lily dons widow’s weeds and travels to Grass Valley, California where she plans to marry the man her uncle works for, a respectable mine owner named Hugh Ogilvie. Then, on the riverboat from San Francisco, she meets Creighton 'King' Callaway, a professional gambler, just the kind of man she should avoid.

King believes that since life is a gamble, there's no point in planning for the future. You have to trust Lady Luck. After meeting Lily, King knows he has found his Queen of Hearts. But can he convince her to pass up a sober businessman for a foot-loose card sharp?

Only Lady Luck knows for sure...

Buy links:

Amazon Kindle US: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01MYMEKMD/

BN/Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/lily-and-the-gambler-linda-mclaughlin/1125157205

Coming Soon to Other Retailers

Excerpt:

Callaway looked at her curiously. “Were you married long?”

“We were together for five years,” Lily said. Her words were true as far as they went. She hoped Mr. Callaway wouldn’t ask too many questions about her husband. It still astonished her that she had told more lies since she became respectable than in her entire unconventional life.

“You must miss him.”

“Yes,” she said, swallowing the lump that suddenly lodged in her throat. Unwelcome tears sprang to her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. She blinked rapidly to stop the tears.

Mr. Callaway pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed at her face. “Better now?”

“Yes. Please forgive me for breaking down. I’m usually not weepy.”

He gave her a reassuring smile. “No apology necessary. You suffered a terrible loss. I admire your strength and determination.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, ma’am. And your pretty blue eyes.”

She felt a blush heat her cheeks, but had to smile. “Are you flirting with me, sir?”

“I’m giving it my best shot,” he said with a grin that quickly faded. “Mrs. Albright, I know this is none of my business, but I don’t think it wise for you to travel alone. I doubt your husband would have approved.”

Lily turned back to stare at the sea of stars above, seeming almost within reach. Would Nigel approve of what she was doing? Yes, she decided. He’d been the consummate adventurer. He wouldn’t have expected her to live the rest of her life wrapped in cotton wool. And his death had given her greater freedom than she’d ever known. It was both frightening and exhilarating.

Creighton Callaway seemed to take her silence for agreement. “Please, at least allow me to see you safely on the train.”

Lily spun around to stare at him. “And in return?”

He spread his hands. “I expect nothing in return but the pleasure of your company. I have a widowed mother and sister. If either one was forced to travel alone, I would worry.”

Ah, so he thought women were too weak to take care of themselves. A typical male notion. “I’ve gotten this far on my own, Mr. Callaway, and my journey is almost over.”

“Mrs. Albright, you are not in England anymore. I grant you California is more civilized than it was twenty years ago, but it’s not what you are used to.”

Lily thought about the men she’d seen wearing gun belts and suppressed a shudder. Perhaps she should accept his offer. Once she reached Grass Valley and Uncle Arthur, she need never see the man again.
“I suppose you have a point, and I’d appreciate help with my trunks and sewing machine. Very well, Mr. Callaway. I place myself in your capable hands.” The image of his hands on her skin sent a shiver through her, but she suppressed the notion. The last person she needed in her life now was another gambler.

GREAT blurb, excerpt and cover, Linda! Tell us more about yourself and how readers can reach you.....

Linda McLaughlin grew up with a love of books and history, so it's only natural she prefers writing historical romance. She loves transporting her readers into the past where her characters learn that, in the journey of life, love is the sweetest reward. Linda also writes steamy to erotic romance under the name Lyndi Lamont, and is one half of the writing team of Lyn O'Farrell. A native of Pittsburgh, PA. she now lives in Southern California.

You can find her online at http://lindalyndi.com

Blog: http://lindalyndi.com/reading-room-blog/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LindaMcLaughlinAuthor

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/lindamclaughlin

Twitter: @Lyndi Lamont https://twitter.com/LyndiLamont

Thanks for joining us for our Eggcerpt Exchange folks! I'm on Linda's blog today too so check it out and be sure to join us each week for Tuesday Treasures, Thursday Thoughts and Saturday Spotlight.

Until next time, take care and God Bless.

PamT

#ThursdayThoughts: Special Guest post by Marion Ueckermann!

Good Morning Friends,

Today my fellow PBG author, Marion Ueckermann visits with some thoughts about life and loved ones.....

I SEE YOU

Mommy, this morning, like every morning, I tuck the pink teddy I gave you years ago when you had your shoulder operation, and the brown one I got with my own shoulder op, against my pillows. I fold up the cream and beige blanket and place it at the bottom of my bed—your birthday gift this year from me—and I remember how much you loved sleeping under its soft covering. My thoughts turn to Dad’s crocodile tail lamp we’ll be fetching this weekend—a hunting trophy that through the art of taxidermy he turned into a light source that’s been in our family home for decades. I think of the framed ribbon embroidery landscape that hangs on my lounge wall—a gift from Hanlie, and of the hours of needlework done by her late mother to create it. These things now grace my home, and fill my life, because you all don’t.

I’d forgotten about my scheduled blog today on Thursday’s Thoughts. Fortunately I had written this blog one morning about a month ago. I forgot because life, if I can call it that, has gotten in the way. You see, at the end of last year, my mother fell ill. Heart failure the doctor said. For months we watched her steadily decline. We prayed for God to strengthen her and, dared we even hope, heal? Until the night before her death when we earnestly prayed the hardest prayer—“Your will be done. Lord, heal her quick, or take her fast.”  In the presence of my sister and two nieces—and without a doubt from the wonder in my mother’s eyes, Jesus and a myriad of angels—our prayers were answered as my dearest Mom stepped out of our lives and into an eternity with her Savior. That was life up until July 17 this year.

We gave Mom the most beautiful funeral, filled with hope and praise for her life, and the life that she now lives.

Dad couldn’t remember you had gone, Mommy. Altzheimers does that. But we could see how much he missed you, how empty his life was without you at his side, although we tried to fill it with our love and attention. He’d been so sick with flu the week you landed in hospital. The day you passed away, I had him at the doctor. Bronchial pneumonia they said, but he didn’t need hospitalization, just nebulizing and physio.

We gave Daddy the best nursing we could, but 17 days after you died, we rushed him to emergency. He lay in ICU for nine long days, struggling to get well again. And he seemed to be. But a week after the ICU trips began, he took a turn and we watched him regress. Once again we had to pray—“Your will be done. Heal him quick, Lord, or take him fast.” The awful mask that pressed tight against his face, breathing for him…his hands that were tied to the bed so he couldn’t remove the mask or pull out the feeding tubes—they were all too much to bear. For him, and for us.

Still, the call from the hospital the next morning was unexpected. We tried so hard to get there in time, but were too late. By minutes. Thirty-three days of separation from you were all Daddy could bear. A week later we stared into your open grave again as we laid Daddy to rest at the place he’s been for nearly 66 years—beside you.

We have come to learn to thank God you didn’t have to do life without each other. But it’s still hard for each of us who are left behind.

Eight days after we buried Daddy, we waved goodbye to Lenny and Hanlie. They immigrated to Scotland. Yet another sad goodbye, but at least we have Skype and WhatsApp—we can still chat to our brother and sister-in-law on a daily basis if we like. And we can visit them, too. If only heaven had Skype. If only I could send you an instant message, and you could send one back. If only heaven wasn’t a one-way destination.

But I thank God that I still see you here in life. I see you and Dad in peanut brittles, Nic-Naks chips, Turkish delight, and beetroot salad (the sweet and sour one) standing on Pick ‘n Pay shelves. I see you each time I make a potato salad. I see you in garlic plants with their delicate mauve blooms (how you loved that color), and in the red Christ Thorn blooms. I see you in the list of all your favorite foods that decorate Ryan’s kitchen wall. I see you in the jersey keeping Hanlie warm in Scotland, the one that hung in your cupboard since I was a little girl. And I hear you…in a joke I suddenly remember you enjoyed telling, in the choruses at church you loved to sing. And I see you, I hear you, in the faith and love of our family.

As I stare into my tear-filled eyes, the same shade of brown as yours, mirrored as I do my makeup this morning, I see you…for I am, and always will be, a part of you. You and Dad live on through each and every one of your children and grandchildren in so many ways. Every day.

In the Old Testament God commanded people at various times to build altars of stone to remind them of what He had done for them. The pink and brown teddies that lie side by side on my bed each day are my pile of stones, for every morning they remind me of you, of your lives, and of how incredibly blessed I was to have had such a wonderful mom and dad for so many years.

Every day, I see you. Every day, I hear you. Every day, I miss you.

What a lovely tribute....

We've all lost loved one's, but it is especially difficult when you lose them close together. I know, since last year my Mother in Law and Mother passed away within days of each other. 

The holidays are extremely difficult to enjoy when missing those who've passed on, so take extra care of yourself, Marion and Each and Every one of YOU dear Friends!

Oh and if you're looking for something to read over the Thanksgiving Holiday, check out Marion's newest release, Oslo Overtures or her debut PBG title, Helsinki Sunrise, both Passport to Romance titles!

MARION UECKERMANN's passion for writing was sparked when she moved to Ireland with her family. Her love of travel has influenced her contemporary inspirational romances set in novel places. She now lives in South Africa in an empty nest with her husband and their crazy black Scottie, Wally. http://www.marionueckermann.com

 Until next time...take care and God Bless!

PamT

#ThursdayThoughts: Moving Through Grief

Good Morning Friends,

You know I try to use this feature to encourage and uplift and today is no different despite the title of this post.

If you've followed me long, you'll know that my husband, my heart, my soul mate passed away in 2009 and that I've found myself in this jungle called single-hood. From the time I could articulate, my dream was to be married and have babies so I've never been comfortable being single.

"They" (whoever the hell 'they' are) say one of the signs of moving on is when you can look back without as much pain.

I can attest to that.

In the last five years I've done everything in my power to get through this valley of death. I've prayed, cried, loved and yet, there's still a place in my heart that literally aches and I'm not sure that will ever totally cease.

But at least I can say I'm don't feel as though I'm crawling through quicksand anymore.

Anyway, yesterday I saw this on Face Book and well.. it pretty much explains how I feel.....

 I believe this is true no matter who you are grieving.

A friend who recently lost a spouse said, "trying to figure out who I am now is the crazy part."

That too, is true.

No matter the fact you maintain your separate identities throughout the relationship, you still feel as though you're only half a person and that you have no idea who you are anymore.

But God does and He knows the great things in store for you!

So let me encourage you today.... If you find yourself in the pit of despair because God has called your loved one home, hang in there and when you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and realize it is not a freight train, ask Him to show you a new vision for your life.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™

Thursday Thoughts: Bent but not Broken

Good Morning!

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous the last couple of days but that wasn't the case Sunday. Cold, damp, misty....the perfect reflection of my mood.

That may sound strange to you because I always try to be upbeat and positive, but if you read my Thanksgiving post or follow me on Facebook, you'll know that Friday (the 29th) was my deceased husband's birthday which made for a tough couple of days. Add to that the workload here at the Silver Spur Guest Ranch and by Sunday I was ready to just go ahead and have that nervous break down I keep putting off.

So I took a prayer walk (hike actually since the terrain here is hilly and rocky).

Out on the trail I found this horseshoe .....

......My initial thought was, "I might be bent but I'm not broken."

So I picked it up and began to thank God for the blessings in my life, for the good I've experienced, the good to come, and for the 20 years of wonderful memories I had with Terry. 

Some say grief is a lifelong process and that we never get over losing a loved one, especially a spouse or child. Others say the cycle is five or seven years. 

I believe grieving is a personal thing and everyone heals in their own way and time. Some assimilate the feelings and move on quickly, others take years to do so. Some never recover. 

Not sure how long it'll take me to "get over" his death or stop grieving, but I have come a long way. Although I still have moments or days of profound, intense emotion, I am grateful that they are less frequent.

This horseshoe sits on my desk with the other treasures I've found out on the trail and will serve as a reminder that no matter what life throws at me, I am strong enough to bend without breaking.

No matter what you may be grieving (the loss of your spouse, child, parent, job, marriage) take heart and remember.... You might be bent but you are NOT broken.

Something to think about!

"Inspirational with an Edge!" ™

Saturday Spotlight Renee Sunday

Good Morning Friends,

If you read my Thursday Thoughts this week, you'll understand why I don't have much to chat about. LOL! So without much further ado, I bring you this week's Saturday Spotlight.

Renee' Sunday, M.D. is the founder and CEO of Sunday Publishing Company, LLC., and RS Commerce, P.C. 

"I have practiced  anesthesia for over thirteen years. My mission is to encourage and empower others to enjoy life and obtain their dreams. Furthermore, I enjoy being an instrument in God's Plan to render anesthesia services to my patients and to show compassion, love, and the standard of care." 

Renee' is a published author, speaker, mentor, and corporate leader.  Renee's passion is  to be a catalyst to stimulate others forward toward their destiny. She resides in Atlanta, Georgia. 

A new book by anesthesiologist Renee Sunday helps families  deal with the grieving process from a biblical perspective. Entitled "Sunday Grief M.D.," the book is about how  her family dealt with the death of her brother, Junior.

"God is the ONLY refuge when trials and tribulations come. God is the antidote to going through the grieving process," Sunday says. "God will comfort and give confidence. Yes, God had already made the way to proceed through the grieving process."

The grieving process can consist of physical, emotional, and spiritual responses, but each person grieves differently. "God has given me this mission to express wisdom and guidance to inspire others to trust God throughout the grieving process," Sunday says.

Her book retails for  $12.95   and can be purchased at www.sundaypublishingcompamy.com

Well friends, looks like a book we all need to read!

Hope you enjoyed this spotlight. Stay tuned next week for more Tuesday Treasures, Thursday Thoughts and of course, another Saturday Spotlight!

PamT

Boxes of Love

Hello Friends,

Well, I'm on my way home from WA today - a day filled with bittersweet emotions as 1 year ago this evening, the love of my life left me to be with the Lord. Can't say as I blame him, I'd much rather be with Jesus than here - where there is so much pain, heartache and sorrow.

What can I say that I haven't already said about this situation except life goes on - and that God has promised me a future ~ one filled with hope and goodness and, difficult though it may be at times, I will walk in my destiny with HIM.

Many times we try to sum up the life of a loved one - in words or pictures. Today I'm going to share with you boxes of love ~ shadow boxes filled with memories of a life filled with love.

This one was created by Bubba (Terry Jr) to remember his dad. Dog tags from Terry's time in the Army, a cross necklace which was handed down from his grandfather, a rose from the cemetery, an obituary card, items from Terry's service with the Calcasieu Parish Sheriff's Office and a couple of charms (alligator & our state)  to remind him of home.

Monica put this one together with many of the same type of items...things from CPSO, charms to remind her of him & his love of this beautiful state, a rosary passed down from her grandfather, obituary card and rose from the family spray we bought for the funeral.

TJ & Karol have items to make their own shadowboxes and I'll share them with you once they are complete.

IMW...this one is mine.....

The flag which draped his casket and the cross that was in it, our original wedding rings, a photo from our wedding day - my FAVORITE picture of him, the photo used for his obituary, our rocks and the words he spoke the night he gave me mine..."My love is like this rock, it's strong and solid, it'll never change, it'll last forever and there's not another one like it in the world."

No, you can't sum up a life in words, photos or boxes but you can honor one and remember them with love.

Until later...take care & be Blessed!
PamT

On the go Again!

Hey Friends,

By the time you read this I'll either be in the air or on the ground in Seattle, WA visiting with my children/grandchild for a week. Been home from Bandera for a week today and have been busy, busy, busy as usual LOL ~ But I sure do miss my friends at the Silver Spur! I'm definitely looking forward to going back to the ranch from time-to-time.

Update on The Visionary: I recieved my "fully executed contract" and advance check - a first for me and I'm so excited and grateful to our Lord for this opportunity! We have a tentative release date of November 2011! Filled out some information on the manuscript Five Star needed and am awaiting edits. I'll keep you all posted as things progress.

In His Sight seems to be doing well, receiving good reviews and for that I'm equally grateful. Get your copy today from White Rose Publishing.

God is graciously opening some doors for me that seem to be leading to an exciting future...if I can keep walking forward from the past.....Grief sucks! Sorry for the bluntness here but can't think of a nicer way to say this - some days are still agonizing to get through but by HIS grace, I do. I keep hearing Terry's voice...."Now stop your crying." He had a certain tone he used when he said that and it's comforting to know he is still with me, watching over me and that he still supports me as he always did....pushing me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep on, keeping on. Sometimes I feel like my life is a reflection of a Country song ... How DO I live without him? and yet... So lucky to have had the chance to love this much.

Oh well, we all have things we identify with to try and make sense of the senseless events in our lives.

Guess that's about all for now Friends, be sure and drop by Saturday for our spotlight on Rebecca J Vickery with another of her books!

Until later...take care & be Blessed!
PamT

The Numbness Has Lifted.....

For the first few weeks after my huband's death I lived in a world of disbelief - I can't belive this is real...I can't believe this has happened....I can't believe I'll never see/hear/touch him again....

I had bad moments in othewise good days and bad days in otherwise OK weeks.

Well Friends, the numbness has lifted and in it's place is agony ~ such agony. I've cried more in the last 2 weeks that I did in the 5 before - Yes, it's been SEVEN weeks!

There is still a sense of disbelief, but more and more the fact is becoming real....I will NEVER see/hear/touch him again. He's gone. Life as I knew it is over.

I wonder what's next....acceptance, peace, wholeness, a new sense of purpose? One can hope.

They say it'll get easier....time heals all wounds....life will go on....faith will pull me through...I'll be ok.

I wonder who they are, I'd like to sit and have a talk with them!

Seven is God's perfect number so maybe, just maybe my life -at some point - will make perfect sense...I'd be happy for this situation to make even a tiny bit of sense!

Alas, life does go on and I KNOW I must continue to go on - to walk through the maze and work through the haze of pain and confusion and despair ~ to battle the darness trying to eat away at my soul and surrender to the light of love and healing only God can bring.

Once again I'd like to THANK each and EVERY ONE of you, my friends and family, near and far for your continued prayers and positive thoughts - I truly feel your love and support.

May God BLESS you All!