For the first few weeks after my huband's death I lived in a world of disbelief - I can't belive this is real...I can't believe this has happened....I can't believe I'll never see/hear/touch him again....
I had bad moments in othewise good days and bad days in otherwise OK weeks.
Well Friends, the numbness has lifted and in it's place is agony ~ such agony. I've cried more in the last 2 weeks that I did in the 5 before - Yes, it's been SEVEN weeks!
There is still a sense of disbelief, but more and more the fact is becoming real....I will NEVER see/hear/touch him again. He's gone. Life as I knew it is over.
I wonder what's next....acceptance, peace, wholeness, a new sense of purpose? One can hope.
They say it'll get easier....time heals all wounds....life will go on....faith will pull me through...I'll be ok.
I wonder who they are, I'd like to sit and have a talk with them!
Seven is God's perfect number so maybe, just maybe my life -at some point - will make perfect sense...I'd be happy for this situation to make even a tiny bit of sense!
Alas, life does go on and I KNOW I must continue to go on - to walk through the maze and work through the haze of pain and confusion and despair ~ to battle the darness trying to eat away at my soul and surrender to the light of love and healing only God can bring.
Once again I'd like to THANK each and EVERY ONE of you, my friends and family, near and far for your continued prayers and positive thoughts - I truly feel your love and support.
May God BLESS you All!