#TuesdayTreasures Guest post by Dale Vernor

Good Morning Friends,

When today's guest contacted me I was unsure about how his message would resonate with YOU, my audience. After all, you're used to hearing what authors treasure and learning about their books. 

But I think his message is uplifting and definitely something to treasure so please welcome Dale Vernor....

Treasuring My Sobriety After Alchol Rehab

I look at my daughter now and I know I would do absolutely anything to protect her, to ensure her happiness. But there was a time not too long ago when I couldn’t say that — even in my most drunken moments.

Yes. I’m an alcoholic.

I am one of those fortunate ones who had help, who was forced to get help. And just in the nick of time, alcohol rehab changed my life. Today I treasure my family and in order to be the best for them I have to also treasure my sobriety, if it were not for finding it, I would have no family to love so dearly.

It Wasn’t Bad… In the Beginning

I used to tell myself that alcohol wasn’t all bad because I met my wife in a bar. She was celebrating a cousin’s engagement and she noticed me sitting alone in the bar. She approached me then and there. I should’ve been mortified. But I already had a couple of glasses in me and I readily answered all her questions. I think she really believed I liked her, too. I think it was only later that she realized that I was so flirty with her because I was already drunk.

She always said she didn’t mind that I drank more than she did. She said I was a sweet and quiet when I was drunk. And then she got pregnant and there wasn’t really time for us to think.

After the baby was born, my drinking got worse. It’s scary being in charge of a whole person. You need liquid courage; at least that’s what I told myself. I felt I enjoyed my time with the baby more when I had a few sips. I was more relaxed.

My Wife Knew I Had a Problem

Once, my stash of vodka in the laundry room disappeared. I think, like me, she was trying to deny it.

Until she came home early one day and saw me lying face down, naked a few feet from my robe and the crib. The baby’s face was already red from crying and her bottom was irritated from a very soggy diaper. It could’ve been worse, but it was enough for her. The next day, my daughter spent the day at a childcare center while my wife  brought me to an alcohol rehab facility.

That was more than three years ago.

What I Learned

One of the most important things I learned in rehab was that I had to forgive myself for what I had done in the past, while the alcohol still had its grip on me. It’s not easy. I look at my little girl and wonder what damage I had caused. But I strive to do it, and not as a punishment, but as a way to endure.

My story could have gone in a different direction. My wife and I didn’t really know each other all that well when we got married. I am grateful that she stayed with me throughout and didn’t take the baby and leave. I’m also very thankful that she enrolled me in alcohol rehab.

I cannot describe the wonder of looking at my daughter with eyes not blurred by alcohol. I am amazed at how interesting and funny her three-year-old stories can be. I cannot bear to imagine being drunk and not being able to enjoy them.

And when I go out with my wife, orange juice or ginger ale gives me a buzz when coupled with her boisterous laugh.

Every Day is Wonderful

I can smell the flowers that we planted together. I can taste the different dishes I prepare for them.

And in five months, we will welcome a new member to our family and I’m so excited. Not that I’m void of any apprehension. But I’m in a good place right now—full of gratitude and love for my family and for myself. I have faced obstacles in the past and can confidently say that I can squarely face the challenges ahead.

Thank you so much, Dale for sharing your story! We wish you the BEST of luck and God's blessings as you continue to walk out your journey.

PamT

#TuesdayTreasures LOVE and Forgiveness

Happy Valentine's Day!

When this time of year rolls around we all think of LOVE.... the people in our lives whom we love, those we've loved and lost and those we wish we could love. It's another day set aside in each year to remind us that love is a powerful thing and something we should treasure.

More than treasure, love is something we should aspire to live and express on a daily, moment-by-moment basis.

Think about all those people you don't understand or dislike and take a few moments to send them love.

Can't do it?

Then start with peace or joy or happiness or forgiveness. Forgive them and forgive yourself for your lack of love toward them.

The Bible teaches us that Forgiveness and Love are a choice. Therefore, even if you don't actually "feel" the warm, fuzzy emotions. Choose love. Be willing to forgive.

There's a lot of power in praying.... "Lord I can't do this but I'm willing to forgive, I'm willing to say the words, I'm willing to have a change of heart. I'm willing to see this person or this situation through YOUR eyes. Help me."

One of the most powerful prayers I've learned in my studies of spirituality is "I forgive you and I release you to God."

Simple words that have the ability to change lives.

Again, even if you don't actually feel this, saying the words opens your mind and eventually your heart to free yourself and, in turn, your offender.

Try it, you'll be amazed and I'll bet you'll feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge!" ™

If you're looking for a Valentine's day gift to send to someone consider my devotional Love is a Rose which parallels the love of God to the words of the song "The Rose" available in Ebook, Kindle and Nook. Also in Print an at Deeper Shopping!

Hope you enjoyed today's post and you'll drop by each week for Tuesday Treasures, Thursday Thoughts and Saturday Spotlight!

Until next time take care and God bless.
PamT

#ThursdayThoughts: Special Guest Post by JA Marx

Good Morning Friends,

Today I welcome JA Marx with a special Thursday Thoughts guest post Chivalry Reignited.

Imagine sending your son on an island vacation with his friends, and a violent storm maroons them without means of communication or transportation. They discover a young woman washed up on their beach, alone and afraid. In the face of temptation, will your son live up to the values you labored to instill?

Moms hope and pray for both their sons and daughters to grow up with a seamless strength of character. But mothers and sons appear to naturally foster a unique connection. While Dad demonstrates how to be a man, something about a mother’s wisdom, grace, and honor round out that son’s sense of confidence and respect for others.

My son just turned twenty-seven and now raises his own son. What a joy it is to witness his parental victories and failures. But what moves my heart most is his determination to protect his wife, to sacrifice for her well-being, and serve her as if she is a gift from God. Living in a culture that devalues women on screen, in magazines and on billboards, we need more men willing to take a stand for godly morals.

If you’re a young mom, then be encouraged: you matter, even to the neighbor kids; your sacrifice and love never come back void. 

 

You’re not a mom? Then find one and tell her how amazing and strong she is; remind her that seasons pass quickly so don’t grow weary of doing good. Verbal encouragement could be the best gift that mother receives all year.

The “imagine your son” scenario in the first paragraph is a subplot of Destiny Defied. The four young men, supporting cast, in the story are far from perfect, but they do learn a valuable lesson: treating a woman with respect can turn her life around. 

BIO:

J.A. publishes a weekly blog related to spiritual and physical health. She has also published devotionals with CBN, co-authored two novellas, The Christmas Tree Treasure Hunt and A Ruby Christmas, published articles in the Texas Health Mom’s Blog, and edits for HIStalk.com. Her first romantic suspense will release in 2015 with Prism Books.

Above all, J.A.’s desire is to see people set free to live and love. She feels her purpose on earth is to participate in what Jesus Christ came to do: destroy the works of darkness. (1 John 3:8b; Matthew 16:19).

Her desire to promote health and wholeness grew from 17 plus years in marriage coaching and developing small group ministries in four different states across the USA.

She and her husband presently reside in Texas near their children and grandchildren.

Well friends, hope you enjoyed this special post! I sure did. Check back often for more Thursday Thoughts, Saturday Spotlights and Tuesday Treasures.

Until later...take care & God Bless!

PamT

#SaturdaySpotlight with Janet Elizabeth Lynn!

Good Morning Friends,

We are winding down our week with Janet. She'll be back tomorrow and I certainly hope you've enjoyed this week with her.

I know I have. So without much further ado, here she is....

I have always loved the 1950s Noir genre, movies, books, pictures etc. I inherited my mother’s fascination with Hollywood. I remember the TV shows my parents watched, Lassie, Gunsmoke, The Jack Benny Show.

When I started writing, 2000, I always wanted to attempt ‘50s Noir, but couldn’t figure out how to get into a man’s head and make it sound real. My husband is a published author too. We edited each other’s work. He consistently changed the dialogue for my male characters with, “A guy wouldn’t say that.”

One day I mentioned how I’d love to write a Noir Murder Mystery. He turned to me and said, “So let’s do one together.” I almost broke into tears.

People warned us it would tarnish our 43 year old marriage. People insisted it wouldn’t work. With these warnings, we took a spiritual approach of setting rules of kindness, respect and overall patience. We started with a deadline schedule and followed it to the letter. We met every two weeks to discuss character development, subplots and fight scenes-what was working and what wasn’t. We took field trips to old Hollywood, Hip hop clubs, all to get the feel for the 1950s.

The results-SLIVERS OF GLASS and a wonderful partnering experience for both of us. Will there be more coauthored books? You bet!

Find bio and contact information on Janet and Bill in yesterday's post.

Slivers of Glass can be purchased at Amazon in print and for Kindle!

What a wonderful story to post on this Valentine's Day! I hope your's is Blessed and Happy and filled with......

  &

PamT

#TuesdayTreasure: Peace

This weekly post is supposed to be about something I treasure and today the thing I not only treasure but crave during this holiday season (and every day) is PEACE.

You may wonder how to cultivate and maintain an attitude of peace in such a tumultuous world.

Here are a few ways....

Gratitude: Being grateful for the little things in life helps us to focus on the good instead of that which is less than we desire. Gratitude and Peace go hand in hand.

Love: Focusing on the love of God and the love in your life will produce a profound peace in your heart.

Focus on the Present Moment produces much peace. I've heard it said that stress comes from focusing on the "coulda/shoulda/woulda" situations in our life. Yes it's true we need to acknowledge where we are and where we've been, but ONLY in order to determine where we desire to be! Once we realize that, we can move toward it with hopeful expectation.

These are a few ways I strive to maintain peace in my life. I pray they help you.

Something to think about!

"Inspirational with an Edge! ™

Thursday Thoughts: The Power of Love

A couple of recent incidents have challenged my faith and the way I look at life.

In last week’s post, I told you about “Hunter’s Weekend” in Bandera. Although I DO enjoy dancing the night (or day) away, I’m not what I’d consider a party animal. However, on this particular weekend, too much excitement, too much activity and too little sleep left me vulnerable to attack from the lower energies of human consciousness.

Now you’re wondering where that comes from LOL!

Let me explain….

On two separate occasions women got in my face with sarcasm and accusations. Pretty tough to take for someone who tries to walk in love in every situation.

Though tempted, I refused to bow down and retaliate in kind. Instead I walked away and sent them thoughts of peace and blessing. After all, didn’t Jesus teach us to Pray for your enemies and bless those who curse (or persecute) you.

Did doing this make me immune from the pain of attack?

Of course not, but it did allow me to let go of that pain and not dwell on the why or wherefore these complete strangers felt the need to do what they did.

One thing I’ve come to learn is that we can’t control people but we CAN control our response to their behavior.

We don’t have to give in to feelings of anger, bitterness, defensiveness or any of the lower emotions of our flesh. We don’t have to give our power of love over to people or circumstances.

It is our choice to offer peace, blessings and forgiveness instead.

Does this guarantee I’ll never go through a similar situation?

I doubt it. The devil is always trying to undermine the power of love in our lives. But I do believe as we continue to walk in love we will continue to grow in grace and power or strength in the Holy Spirit to become more like Jesus.

Isn’t that what we’re called to do?

Something to think about…..

“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

Thursday Thoughts: Intimacy

Good Morning Friends and welcome to another edition of Thursday Thoughts.

Although I do my best to share my heart with you every time I write or post something here, today I'm really going deeper.

I've given you my thoughts on Kisses but today I want to talk to you about intimacy.

Many folks confuse intimacy with sex but that's not what I'm talking about. I meet so many people today whose idea of being intimate is jumping into bed with someone. While that may be a wonderful experience, they don't always realize what they're missing!

Intimacy is not about getting naked with each other literally, it is however, about getting naked in every other way.

Okay so now I've got you confused. Welcome to the club LOL!

As I mentioned in my post on being single, I didn't ask to be thrust into this role. I've always felt more complete as part of a couple. I love being in a monogamous, committed relationship. I love being half of the whole!

I know, I know, you can't be half a couple unless you're a whole person and someone who has experienced the loss of a spouse (or marriage) needs time to heal and become whole, but that is not my point! (I'm getting off track here...we're supposed to be talking about intimacy)...

One thing I've learned in this time of "single-hood" is that what I miss most about being in a relationship is the intimacy....no, not the sex..the INTIMACY.

Now you think I'm weird, or frigid...let me assure you both are far from the truth! I mean, I don't write romance for nothing LOL! and I certainly know how to enjoy the natural progression and fulfillment of a physical relationship with the man I love.

That's just it though, if there is no LOVE and no INTIMACY, why then should you venture into sex?

Okay, maybe I was born in the wrong century or am just too old fashioned for my own good, but that's how I feel.

I miss being intimate, feeling cherished, and cherishing .... long, intelligent conversations, hugs and caresses, sweet, undemanding kisses....all those little things that when added together may end up culminating in physical completion, but are just as stimulating (maybe more) when they don't!

True love is more than a great sex life. True love is intimacy. True love is commitment and compromise and sometimes just deciding that whatever you disagree on is not worth fighting about, not worth losing your intimacy over, not worth the stress and drama and upset of losing sleep and peace.

If you've known me for a while, you know I write to encourage, not judge or condemn and this post is no different, so here's a little advice:

If you are single, don't compromise intimacy for sex.

If you are in a relationship, seek intimacy above all else because where there is love and intimacy, there is peace, joy and contentment.

JMHO of course, but definitely something to think about....

"Inspirational with an Edge!" (tm)

Thursday Thoughts: The Heart of the Matter

Good Morning Friends!

Today I'd like to share with you what's on my heart and that is....the condition of your heart.

Tuesday I talked about the power of gratitude to change your life and circumstances. I'm still a firm believer of that, but gratitude is a byproduct of something much deeper.

A pure heart.

Now many may think they can't achieve purity of heart but I do believe that is a lie straight from the pits of hell!

We can have a pure heart but in order to do so we have to tap in to the root of our thinking.

Consider this... a child is born with/in absolute purity. So many times we look at the fruit (circumstances) instead of the root (heart).

I did a keyword search on Bible Gateway on "pure heart" and came up with 10 scriptures. My favorites are....

Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God." and 1 Peter 1:22 "Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,"

So how do we do this?

First recognize that nothing or no-one outside of your SELF can achieve a pure heart. You must long for purity and that begins with your thoughts!

Our hearts are born pure, the rest is learned behavior.

Second, realize that no person, place, drug, surgery, relationship (other than one with God) will make you happy, produce purity nor change the condition of your heart. Only you can do that and it begins with your thoughts.

You may still wonder how to get away from the negative circumstances in your life, how to feel more positive, loving, grateful, etc., etc., etc.

Philippians 4:8 tells us how.....[ Meditate on These Things ] Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

A pure heart will emerge when you purify your thoughts and as I mentioned Tuesday, gratitude is one way to begin doing so!

In my column, Pamela's Ponderings, I spoke on the Art of Love (Feb) - and mentioned taking love breaks throughout the day. Try this, it really works! One thing I'd like to add though is this....Before you can fully love someone else, you have to love yourself.

So take some time to connect with the Source of Love (God) and dwell deeply in the wells of love within you, then let that love flow outward into the lives of everyone you come in contact with.

Something to think about.....

"Inspirational with an Edge!" (tm)

Thursday Thoughts on LOVE

Well Friends, it's time for another edition of Thursday Thoughts but to be honest my heart is so heavy with the events of the past couple of weeks (see Tuesday Treasures post) that I can't hardly think. So, I am sharing with you some thoughts on LOVE.....

Love experienced on the spiritual/emotional level is the truest, purest form of love; then and only then can it be expressed on the physical level ~ through word, deed and action

You must feel love and let love envelop, empower and overwhelm you to the point where love has only one place to radiate – outward – into every situation you encounter and every life you come in contact with.

Perfect love casts out fear – ask God to fill your heart and mind with Himself who IS perfect love.

Don’t allow the world outside and around you poison the beauty within.

God is love and he that dwells in love, dwells in God (1 John 4:16) – What does this mean? When we release the love of God in every situation, we release the power of God to change us and how we perceive that situation.

Guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life – When we allow only positive, loving, pure thoughts to dominate our mind then we are guarding out hearts and the issues of life which is actually the Spirit of God (Christ) within us.

Love heals. Take any situation from your past that haunts your present and threatens your future; in your mind see that situation covered with the Blood of Jesus. Now lift every person involved in the situation up to God and proclaim… “I love you, I forgive you, and I release you to God.”  Ask God to heal and deliver you from the negative thoughts and emotions attached to that situation so you may see it from HIS perspective – you see it with love.

Let nothing but love be the driving force by which you live, breath, move and act.

Love is the source from which all good things come. Do you need something good to happen today? Then lift that need up to God who IS love and in love receive your blessing then release your blessing back into the world and watch miracles happen!

Our attitudes and actions can sabotage the good God is trying to get to us. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves if our attitudes and actions have anything to do with the circumstances in our life.  If this is the case, then change your thinking. Focus on love and your life will reflect the change in you.

Why is it we find it so much easier to focus on the bad, the negative instead of focusing on love when LOVE is the only true emotion and the one thing that uplifts, heals, renews and restores?

Why do we say “easier said than done” instead of just surrendering to God and let HIM do what’s necessary to raise us to a higher level of love consciousness?

God uses people, places and circumstances to enrich our lives that we may, in turn, be used by HIM to bless the lives of everyone we come in contact with.

Love is eternal, therefore, true love never dies – it simply returns to its source, God who IS love, to be strengthened and then sent back into our lives through another of His vessels.

When we fail to see the darkness in ourselves (anger, un-forgiveness, selfishness, greed) either through pride or arrogance (which is another form of pride) – we hinder God’s work in our life which is to lift us to the highest level of love consciousness – so that we, with like-minded people, can be His instrument of healing to the world.

What do you do when the platitudes and clichés, though peppered with faith and belief, fail to comfort? What do you do when your mind understands and spirit KNOWS the truth but you just can’t wrap your heart around the facts and circumstances of your current situation? To whom do you run? To whom do you turn? CHRIST

Thursday Thoughts...What If?

What IF.......

               .......That never ending spiral of thoughts that don't ever seem to get resolved....


What if such and so hadn't happened?
What if this or that happens?
What if he/she hadn't said that
What I'll say if......

Jesus taught us to pray "give us this day our daily bread." He told us not to worry about the future .... what good does worrying do, does it add one more hour or one more day?

And we know worrying will never change the past.

So what are we to do?

What if...for just one day we live in the moment...this moment, this day. Let us take captive any thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God (love) and eradicate it from our mind (2 Corinth. 10:5) and in it's place let us consider not only our blessings, but how we may bless someone else.

Often times we think of blessing someone as giving them something... What if the only thing you can give is a heartfelt prayer on their behalf?

Seems like such a small thing. But what if that small thing...multiplied by millions of people...actually changed the world we live in?

Let us not despise the little things we can do to bless and honor our God and His creation! 

Until later remember....Don’t allow the world outside and around you poison the beauty within.
 PamT