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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thursday Thoughts: Physical Attraction or Spiritual Connection?

Last weekend was “Hunter’s Weekend” here in Bandera. The opening of deer season where hunters come from all over to well… hunt LOL! But it’s also a huge party time where male and female alike stalk more than animals of the four-legged species. All day and half the night bands play at every bar in town, and a huge “Bloody Mary” party takes place at the river-park on Saturday. Dancing and drinking are a premium and if you like either, you’re bound to have a good time.

Well, as good a time possible when alcohol is involved.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a wine cooler or shot of something stronger as well as the next gal. But drinking myself into oblivion and losing control are not an option, especially when I’m out on the town.

Anyway, that’s not what this post is about.

While talking with a gentleman friend after I’d introduced him to one of my dearest girl friends, I made the remark, “Those spiritual connections are the best.”

The impact of that statement was not lost on either of us and made me realize something important I’d like to share with you.

As you all know, I’m not thrilled with this journey from wife to widow to individual. For someone whose main ambition in life from the time she could articulate was to be a wife, single-hood is not fun. 

In fact, it is downright uncomfortable. 

Instead of viewing this time in my life as a maze of opportunity and discovery, this journey is more like traipsing through a jungle of confusion and doubt or a landmine of fear and uncertainty.

Both scare the living daylights out of me.

Especially when it comes to the opposite sex.

I see what’s ‘expected.’ It’s not who I am at the core of my being and that makes me wonder how I’m ever going to cope. Well-meaning friends are no help. One says, “Let the men come to you!” Others say, “This is the way it is and you’ve got to relax and just put yourself out there.  Don’t be so uptight.” OR “It’s just a kiss.” And yet another says, “Honor YOUR feelings.”

And here I am left clueless as to what the right answer is -- although I am leaning more toward “honor YOUR feelings.” (and no it’s not “just” a kiss!)

If you know me at all, you know I LOVE to go out dancing. Other than prayer and meditation, nothing soothes my soul more than a waltz, two-step, or jitterbug across a saw-dust covered floor in the arms of a gentleman. When I’m on the dance floor I am 100% in the moment. I’m not thinking about the past or worrying about the future.

Since one of the qualities on my list of desires for the perfect soul mate, is someone who loves to dance, I’m careful to keep my heart open to meeting him on a dance floor somewhere.

But one thing I’ve come to recognize out there on that floor is the difference between physical attraction and a spiritual (or soul) connection.

Although physical attraction may occur with someone I enjoy dancing with, very few elicit a connection I feel on a soul level. Those that do, may not realize how lucky they (we) are. And that’s fine. Everyone is on his or her own path and may not want anything more than physical attraction.

But a soul connection is one I want to experience, explore, and build upon.

After all, the physical attraction may be wonderful but when that’s gone, what will you have if there’s nothing deeper to your relationship?

Something to think about….

“Inspirational with an Edge!”


LoRee Peery said...

Pam, you expressed where you are coming from in a a beautiful manner, from the soul. I've watched women in my life, listened to their single-hood struggles, prayed with them, and imagined myself in their places. Whew. Don't want to go there. For sure, you need to be brave and rely on the Lord. Thank you for sharing what could be a strong character sketch... and marks you as a strong character in the Lord.

Marianne Evans said...

Beautifully stated, Pam. God's blessings, and thanks for sharing your beautiful heart and spirit!

Donna B said...

Wonderful post, Pam! I so wish we lived closer (much! LOL) so we could spend some time together in fellowship. I hear your heart loud and clear! Yes, be true to yourself, don't settle for less than that spiritual connection...but enjoy your dancing!!!