Today I bring to you a special blog post by my friend and fellow author, Jayne Self....
Lines in
the Sand
Lines are a
fact of life. Some are absolute—the values and rules that stand true no matter
what happens. Others are conditional. They change with the situation.
As a
parent, it doesn’t take long to realize situations aren’t static. And it’s easy
to get caught in an escalating battle of wills if you don’t recognize the
difference between absolute lines and conditional ones.
Here’s a
truth I’ve learned.
If you draw
a line in the sand you have to enforce
it
If you’re
not willing to enforce it, don’t draw the line
Of course, if
a child violates a line because they’re unaware it exists, that’s not their
fault. Parents need to make expectations clear.
But, in our
home, once the line was clearly designated, adherence was mandatory. Unless…
According
to child behaviorist, Barbara Coloroso, “If it isn’t life threatening, and it
isn’t morally threatening, it’s negotiable.”
Life
threatening.
Morally
threatening.
Those are
the absolutes.
All other
rules are conditional.
From an
early age, I taught my children, if they were unhappy with a ruling I made,
they could challenge it. If their arguments were reasonable, and expressed
respectfully, I would rethink my initial decree.
Most lines in
life are conditional.
We hurt
ourselves and those around us every time we fail to recognize the difference
between absolutes and conditionals. Sadly, we Christians seem especially
susceptible to this error. We love God so much, we want to follow His rules. We
love others and want them to follow His rules, too. To help them, we nit-pick,
criticize, judge, and condemn. We focus on the conditionals, often completely
missing the absolutes.
In New Testament times, the Jewish
Pharisees made a lifestyle out of following rules. They loved the lines laid
out in the scriptures because they believed knowing and following those lines
made them special.
People have the same attitude today. Follow
God’s rules and you’ll be part of the in crowd.
But if our adherence to those lines
violates God’s absolutes, we must re-examine
your stand.
What are God’s absolutes?
…What does the LORD require of you? To
act justly, and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your
God. Micah: 6:8
Jesus said, ‘Love
the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all
your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22: 37-39 NIV
Love,
justice, humility and mercy—absolutes so basic anyone can know and follow them.
Jayne E.
Self lives in Ontario , Canada . Her mysteries, Murder in Hum Harbour (2011) and Death of a Highland Heavyweight (2012)
have both won Word Awards—Canada ’s
largest Christian writing awards.
You can
find more about Jayne, her writing, and her blog at jayneself.com
"where faith and
mystery converge"Well Friends, hope you enjoyed this week's Thursday Thoughts! Stay tuned for Saturday Spotlight, Tuesday Treasures and of course more Thursday Thoughts!
PamT
3 comments:
Thanks for having me, Pam.
Love, justice, humility, mercy... sometimes we need to be reminded of the basics. And God points us in that direction for our own good. Thanks, Jayne!
Years ago, I had the privilege to see Barbara Coloroso speak. I love what she shared, “If it isn’t life threatening, and it isn’t morally threatening, it’s negotiable.” Thanks for the reminder!
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